I have a list of at least 10 people I have been referred to in order to find mental health care for C. Every person I call says they can’t help and refers me to someone else. The list grows and grows. So does my frustration.
I am starting to feel hopeless about all of this. My thought today was that by the time I find someone who does work with preschoolers, C will be old enough to not need a preschool-specific clinician.
Meanwhile, the bedtime antics grow worse every night. Tonight John is sitting in our guest bedroom with C in the pack and play. I can hear him screaming and am trying not to panic about all of it. I feel like I have no answer to this problem. And no one else does either. Is it just going to get worse each night forever and ever until we end up just driving around in circles to make C fall asleep like he’s an infant?
I feel like a broken record here, which is why I haven’t been writing much lately. Also, I broke our recently purchased computer by spilling water on it in the midst of bedtime bullshit. The hard drive instantly corroded, apparently, and even the specialty data retrieval place couldn’t help. I had to redo a bunch of my schoolwork and we lost three months of pictures. A three months that happened to include C’s adoption, baptism, and fourth birthday. I will get some replacement photos from family, but there are videos and other shots I know are gone forever. It hurts my heart. And it means I have to type my complaining posts on my phone or iPad, which is annoying too.
shaky hugs 